The Weakerthans

Since it’s the 2009 NHL All-Star weekend in beautiful Montreal, I thought it would be appropriate to write a hockey-themed post. I thought I would share some songs that either are related to hockey, or remind me of waking up in the Nova Scotian countryside early on weekend mornings to see if the ponds in my backyard were frozen properly, so that I could call up friends for pickup games. Now that I’m here in Toronto – a city that bleeds hockey, no matter how their Leafs are faring in the standings (but I share their pain – my beloved Senators have left me crying on several occasions this season), I’ve been spending quite a few evenings with friends playing on Ryerson’s Lake Devo (not be confused by the band of course). I tried to go for less obvious song picks, eschewing the obvious such as Stompin’ Tom and the (former) theme song for CBC’s Hockey Night In Canada, in favour of more contemporary picks that celebrate the spirit of the best game you can name.

1. The Weakerthans – “Elegy For Gump Worsley”
The Weakerthans are one of the quintessential Canadian rock bands around today, so it is only fitting that they have a song about our national obsession. More spoken word than song, “Elegy” (of the band’s 2007 album Reunion Tour) is a tribute to one of the greatest Montreal-born goaltenders ever to play the game. The band’s lead singer John K. Sampson lovingly chronicles the charismatic Worsley (who played for the Habs, New York Rangers and the Minnesota North Stars during his 25-year-long NHL career); his multiple injuries, witty quips, and stubborn tendencies, which lead to him famously refusing to don a goalie mask. Best part of this song? “Favourites from Plimpton’s list of objects thrown by Rangers fans: soup cans, a persimmon, eggs, a folding chair and a dead rabbit.” In a related note, if you are looking for a decent concert to attend for a respectable price, The Weakerthans are bringing their “Rolling Tundra” tour to the Phoenix for two nights with Toronto’s own Constantines supporting. Tickets for the March 31 show are already sold out, but never fear – Rotate This still has tickets for the April 1 show for $25.

2. Kathleen Edwards – “I Make The Dough, You Get The Glory”
I’m not even a fan of this song, but hey, any song that name-checks Marty McSorley is worth a mention in my book. The former Bruins brawler set the standard for bad behaviour in hockey back nine years ago, when he swung his stick at Donald Brashear – giving the Vancouver Canucks player a concussion. As a result, McSorley was the first NHL player charged in court for assault with a weapon for the on-ice attack and received probation. In this song, he is referenced by the Ottawa singer-songwriter in the chorus, “You’re the Great One, I’m Marty McSorley”. This decidedly country song from the is more for hockey moms than anything else; with choice lines including “I’m a Ford Temple, you’re a Maserati” and “You’re cool and cred like Fogerty, I’m Elvis Presley in the 70s” and an almost overly-cute music video, which features Edwards in a tight green jersey tying up her skates to play hockey and flirting with with the boys. Bonus points too for getting Paul Coffey and McSorley himself to appear in the video.

3. Oh No Forest Fires – “Swing And A Misdemeanor”
The titles of this Toronto band’s songs from their latest album entitled The War On Geometry, serve as the perfect soundtrack to a rollicking, scuffle-filled hockey match. Not only is there this track – which sounds like it should be Todd Bertuzzi’s theme song (sorry, bad joke), but they also have a song called “It’s All Fun And Games Unless Someone Loses An Eye”. This is frenetic garage rock at its finest, with pounding guitars, drums, and a infectious “We’ll lose the fire, and start again” call-and-response chorus. If you missed out on the band’s energetic performance at Rolly’s Garage, you can check them out tomorrow at Sneaky Dee’s. For details on this and the band’s upcoming Ontario shows, head over to their MySpace page for more to.

4. Streetlight Manifesto – “What A Wicked Gang We Are”
Mmm, delicious ska. This horn-heavy (saxophone , trumpets and trombones!) song from the New Jersey seven-piece is just waiting for a team to adopt it for getting the players pumped up in the dressing room. Streetlight Manifesto have been together for quite a few years now, and this year the band has a spot on the summer music carnival that is the Vans Warped Tour. The brainchild of founder Kevin Lyman is celebrating its 15th birthday this summer, and the tour will be making a stop in Toronto on July 10. For a list of bands playing already and more details check out the event’s official site. If you’re in Toronto and you don’t want to wait until July, you can check out Streetlight Manifesto at the Sound Academy on January 30th.

5. The Tragically Hip – “Fifty Mission Cap”
I’m going to make a confession – I’m really not a huge fan of The Tragically Hip. For the most part I think they’re boring, I can’t stand Gordon Downey’s voice, and they haven’t put out a good album since the 90s. However that said, “Fifty Mission Cap” is a classic – not as good as “At The Hundredth Meridian”, but much better than the Hip’s other hockey-themed song “At The Lonely End Of The Rink”. For those of you have never listened to Canadian radio and haven’t heard the song before, this song is about Toronto Maple Leaf player Bill Barilko, who scored the winning goal in the 1951 Stanley Cup finals before he was killed in a plane crash somewhere over Ontario. After that, the Leafs didn’t win another Stanley Cup until his body was discovered – eleven years later. I’m tempted to insert a Leafs joke here, but I will refrain from doing so, otherwise the Singing Lamb herself may just take my head off.

If that’s not enough hockey for you, how about this old clip of a Rick Mercer Report Celebrity Tip in which iconic Canadian author (or pompous blowhard, depending on who you ask) Margaret Atwood shares some tips about goaltending. “Momma can get nasty” – absolutely hilarious. Finally, for those of you who prefer your hockey down and dirty, here is an absolutely awesome compilation of goalie fights set to – what else? – AC/DC’s “Back In Black”.

Hopefully the songs I’ve shared with you here today inspire you to maybe go out to your nearest rink, or pond/lake if you’re lucky enough to have one around you, and get some exercise. At the very least I hope that’ll convince you to call up some good friends this weekend, make some nachos or order a pizza, and watch the All-Star Game tomorrow. I know I’ll be.

Cheers,
Max