So as you all may know, CBC Radio 3 is running a contest to see what the best venue in Canada is. And honestly, unless you’ve been all over the country, I don’t think anyone is qualified to pick a winner. So I guess that resorts to which venue has gained the most supporters; not a bad alternative. I have not been fortunate enough to travel across Canada (yet), but I have been to my fair share of venues in Toronto. So The Singing Lamb has decided to delve deep into Toronto and analyze some of the city’s best and worst venues. Hope these become helpful in your concert-going experience in the city!

Disclaimer: These features do not reflect the opinions of everyone here at the Singing Lamb. Each feature is uniquely the writer’s feelings as based on personal experiences they have encountered. There is a potential that you will see opposing reviews of venues as this series develops. Just keep that in mind – we value everyone’s freedom of speech!
- The Singing Lamb

Let me make one thing perfectly clear from the beginning: I hate the Sound Academy.

Formerly known as the Docks night club and entertainment complex, the Sound Academy is Toronto’s equivalent of the kid nobody quite liked in elementary school – distant, awkward, and downright weird. It’s a building that was clearly designed for the hot sweaty bodies of drug-riddled euro trash that flocked to the building on a weekly basis, until its ill-fated rebranding. And just like the dwindling attendance of the Docks before it, the current venue will meet its demise due to one simple reason – the Sound Academy is simply a nuisance to get to.

While they may claim the title of being one of Toronto’s few waterfront nightclubs concert halls, they’re mistaken if they think that proves to be a redeeming quality. In actuality, the Sound Academy is simply so far out of the way that, unless you’re driving, expect a long and frustrating commute. Throw out all hopes of arriving early, while you’re at it. As the saying goes, abandon all faith, ye who enter here.

If you’d really like to know, there is a TTC bus that can get you there. Of course, your definition of “there” would probably have to include a fairly irregular departure schedule, and an exit point that is actually a full block away from where you intend to go. That’s right, folks; the Sound Academy is so far out of the way, not even the TTC will go there. There is only one explanation here, and it is that the Sound Academy is in bat country.

Let’s assume for a moment that you actually arrive in one piece – I’ll allow you your moment of bliss and pride before I crush your spirits further. Despite your best attempts to arrive early, you’re going to run into a line. It’s fact. On top of that, you must also deal with a number of pretentious and clearly power-tripped security guards, who will almost assuredly manhandle your camera, take your battery, and throw any food you might have left to eat into a bin of despair and hunger. C’est la vie.

If nothing has deterred you thus far, faithful concert goer, the inside of the Sound Academy almost assuredly will. Most striking is the venue’s similarity with popular Toronto-area alleyways – sans the graffiti. In all seriousness, this is the narrowest venue that I have ever seen. While this may have proved beneficial for the sweaty, drunken twenty-somethings of yesteryear, the result is incredibly claustrophobic in a concert setting.

Of course, the most glaring issue of all is the one that matters most. Quite frankly, it seems like I’d get better sound quality out of a cave, because the Sound Academy’s acoustics are simply horrid. High, cavernous ceilings provide lots of places for bass to disappear, leaving behind a great deal of unwelcome treble. Attempts to compensate only serve to drown out the low end even further, with the voices of certain artists simply disappearing into the mix.

In my opinion, it’s a shame that artists feel the need to keep filling the Sound Academy week after week. While the establishment may be able to hook big name acts and draw crowds for now, its only a matter of time before fans and artists alike begin to realize the venue’s shortcomings and take their business elsewhere. It’s downright frustrating that the Sound Academy is located where it is, and operates as it does; more club than concert hall, and nearly inaccessible to those without a boat, it’s simply a matter of time before the Sound Academy slips into musical obscurity.

When the Sound Academy finally does die, rejoice; hitchhiking to the waterfront will be but a distant memory. If only the same would hold true for U2.